Battle of the Sexes!!!!

There are sometimes when I feel that its perfectly natural to want to be able to enjoy your "cake and eat it too"! In terms of gender roles and responsibilities I feel that there's been a major shift from times past. In some ways I think the changes have been good but in others...not so much. For example, I feel that as a woman I should be paid equally to a man in the work place. Now in my career I obviously don't do any heavy lifting, or physical labor. But even if I did I feel that I would pull my weight! I feel this way because I am a hard worker, I am a leader and I'm always looking for ways to improve the moral of my environment while increasing productivity. 

I feel that the contribution of women in the work place is often not appreciated or belittled in comparison to the work that men do. I've never subscribed to this mentality because I can only speak for myself when I say I know that when I'm working I'm doing just that! And hard I might add. I've never been one to be happy to do just the minimum. That said, its frustrating when men are treated like the superior sex in the work place. Of course I might not be able to do everything a man can but I can organize and delegate whatever is needed to make sure that the best level of performance is achieved.

But I'm still a WOMAN and I want to be treated as such! I want to when the time comes take advantage of my ability to take maternity leave and all other benefits that I am eligible for as a woman. I get tired of hearing people complain about how hard men work as if to say that woman don't.

Now in terms of relationships I think that its just as important to pull my weight in all areas be it finances, communication, and the over all maintenance of the relationship. I feel that this is the only way that a relationship can be successful when both partners are willing to work and actually put the work and effort in to make the relationship work. Yes I said it, it takes actual work or at least effort at the bare minimum to have a relationship flow in a way where both parties feel appreciated, respected, and of course loved.

That said, I must confess I have a slight obsession with the "olden" days when men were MEN an women were WOMEN. Let me explain, I have no issue working hard everyday and then coming home to try to make sure that the things that need my attention are taken care of be it house chores or whatever. But when I read books or watch movies from the period of say the 1800's or so when women wore the long, flowing dresses with the up-doo's I must say I'm enchanted...I think to myself what would it be like to actually just be a "homemaker" or a woman in high society who even if single was "taken care of". Now I'm just as ambitious as the next woman if not more so given my driven nature to succeed. BUT that doesn't mean that at times the thought of doing nothing more than in the case I was married taking care of home as my major responsibility isn't appealing...

I dream of the day when I'll have children and a family of my own. I think about how my home will be run and the challenges I will face as a wife and mother. I think of all the time I will spend cultivating the interest of my children while maintaining order and cleanliness in the home. I often find myself thinking of what it would be like to simply cook dinner, take care of the children all day, and the home. Of course we don't live in a society that thinks much of the role of motherhood or being a wife for that matter in terms of the duties that come along with those titles. In my opinion the roles of wife and mother are seen as just that roles that women take on and are expected to thrive at while juggling a full time career.

To me I feel like women are expected to be these superwomen of sorts...Women are expected to work all day then continue to work by taking care of the family. In my opinion that means maintain both responsibilities flawlessly with or without the support of a partner or husband. I listen to both married and single women and while there are a couple women who tell me about how they are able to split home responsibilities with their husband or mate the overwhelming majority of women I have spoken to said they feel like they are doing it all alone regardless of their "marital status".

Now clearly anyone with any perception would tell you that its impossible to literally do it all without having to make some huge sacrifices and compromises in terms of career and family life. For example, women who have found a way to find some sort of a balance with their career and family life often say they still feel like failures when they are unable to give their family the attention they feel is necessary to sustain both aspects of their life. For example we as a society have grown accustom to all types of things that we feel are necessities in terms of both career and family. In order to maintain a certain quality of life the woman is expected to work just to make ends meet so that the family can have its basic needs met. But at the same time, the hours and careers that provide the salaries necessary to facilitate the desired lifestyle is often very rigorous and demanding leaving the women feeling drained after getting off work.

If it were a perfect world my existence would be as follows. I would work when I wanted to with various volunteer organizations I am partial to for one reason or another be it youth or education oriented. I would be a stay at home wife and eventually mother. I would be an active participant in the education of my children through homeschooling for a duration. Then the children would be put in either private school or equivalent in regards to the quality of education. I would be there to cook and take care of the home and also the children. I would consume myself with the lives of my family but I would still nourish other areas of  interest in regards to my career. I think that being a wife and mother are very serious roles and not simply titles that we as women usually do at different stages of our lives. I take both responsibilities seriously. I look forward to seeing how my views change in regards to my perception verses what actually ends up happening as far as how my home is operated. As it stands I'm sure I will remain in the work force full or part time with or without children. Simply because  I enjoy the interaction from  my co-workers and the intellectual challenges I face within the work force. However, as I stated its nice to sometimes envision other possibilities for my life.

Now this is obviously very much from a woman's perspective because I can only speak from my experience as a woman who has interacted with other women. That isn't to say that the work that men do is any less appreciated. I'm just saying that in a perfect scenario it would be nice if women were treated as TRUE equals in the work place and in the case of being attached to a man (no matter the form of the relationship) that she still be given the support needed around the home.

Now I must say in my current relationship, I don't have any issues with "equality". We each do our share to make sure that things are taken care of be it financially or whatever else needs our collective attention. But I felt the need to address this topic because so many of my peers seem to be in situations where they feel like they aren't appreciated at work or the home. And being that I am a woman I can defiantly sympathise with their concerns.

However, I can't conclude this post without saying that there are more than a few good men out there! I feel that many of the good men that we as women or at least I often overlooked didn't come in the "packaging" I was looking for. But blessings come when you least expect them and in "wrapping" that you might have never have guessed!