Status matters most to which sex...Women or Men...

Unfortunately I can only speak from the view point of a woman so I won't even attempt to write this from any other view than what I have experienced myself. I was listening to the radio this afternoon and the topic was: Who obsesses more over status and money Women or Men. So this post is in response to the commentary I listened to on the radio today. I also will give my own twist on the topic being that I have STRONG feelings on this topic being that I've experienced very harsh judgements from both men and women in regards to status. I think the above explanation is enough to give the foundation for what I'm about to share so here it is...

Well as a woman especially a woman of color who has practiced the craft of written and verbal expression via print, radio, web, and television Journalism I feel my insight might be slightly different than others who don't come from my background in journalism. That said, I must say in the dating arena which is what the focus of the radio show was today I think status matters just as much or more in a relationship when it comes to the woman. From my view, I'm often summed up as nothing more than a list of statistics that read: college graduate, skipped being a teen mother statistic, National Honor's Society of Communication Member, and Who's Who among Universities and Colleges award winner to name a few of my accomplishments. But I'm discovering that I'm so much more than just the above description. I am a WOMAN. I am a passionate, caring, motivated, opinionated woman of color who demands to be heard and understood!

I strive to make my communication as direct and colorful as possible. I want people to understand and relate to what I'm expressing so I take great care in the presentation of whatever I am attempting to communicate. I am often frustrated when people don't take time to listen to the complete thought that I'm trying to get across. I hate to be cut off in mid thought! So when I'm asked if I have children or not or what tax bracket I'm in when I'm out and about I quickly respond with well what difference does it make, You don't even know my name and you're asking about my personal matters and finances to decide if I'm worth pursuing! WHAT?! You would think that if he's willing to give me the third degree that he would have his affairs in order! Right... Well most of the time the answer is he doesn't have his life together but he EXPECTS me to be right on track in every area of life.

Its a total double standard in my opinion. For example its accepted in our society that men will go out and "sow their wild oaks" but then women are expected to live to a higher standard. It's the same with status I find. In my case men who see me at first sight usually immediately believe that I'm high maintenance. However I'd say that while I do require a certain level of living in regards to my lifestyle. The lifestyle that I live is largely made possible by my income and not that of my partner. Now that doesn't mean that he doesn't contribute to my lifestyle but that's just it he contributes not provides! I think there's a MAJOR difference. I would say that he enhances my finances by giving me the freedom to spend the money I earn towards monthly bills and whatever else I may feel is necessary for me to be happy.

For example I enjoy going to the spa twice a month when I get my manicure and pedicure. I also get my hair down weekly or bi-weekly depending on how it holds up during the week. Just because I enjoy some of the pleasures of life doesn't make me a woman who is high maintenance. In my view I'm a woman who recognizes and appreciates quality over quantity on any day of the week. For example I told him that if he plans on getting me any jewelry then it should be from Tiffany and Co only! I explained that while other jewelers may have less expensive pricing options however, I told him I don't want anything BUT Tiffany. So when he gave me my birthday gift and it was from Tiffany I was pleasantly rewarded for communicating directly my request rather than getting disappointed when he didn't meet my expectation that I had in my head. I think that the lack of communication is the reason why so many relationships are not successful.

Switching gears...

This is where my background in Journalism and Communication comes in. Now because of my chosen career path I have experienced a level of "status" that comes along with being a TV Personality. That means I've been invited and attended events where celebrities are as common as the oxygen that you're breathing right now. That said, it takes a lot to impress me from strictly a financial perspective and that's because I've been exposed to very affluent people and learned how they live and operate. For example I've noticed that people that have money don't think in terms of money when it comes to their lifestyle. They expect to be treated with the best customer service regardless of if they choose to actually purchase or not. They have an air of confidence that says they expect to be treated with respect!

Then on the other hand, from my observation I've noticed people that have a "hood mentality" have the perception that they deserve nothing but what they get. So if they are treated well they take it and if they aren't treated well they accept that as well. Being that I've been exposed to various social economic living standards I prefer to live according to a certain standard. Now that doesn't mean that I can't be content with less but it means that I'm working hard to make up the difference so that I can live according to what I want. One of my mentors told me that rather than decreasing my lifestyle I should increase my income by limiting my debit by investing...

So that's been my mission to make more money by having multi-streams of residual income. Hence, my Mary Kay Business! I enjoy building and cultivating my clientele and I've reached the point in my business where I've started to see the fruits of my labor meaning I'm getting reorders and referrals so its been an fulfilling to see my hard work start to pay off! There have been times when I got up in the morning to check my email to discover that while I was sleeping customers have made online orders! So to think that its possible to make money without being clocked in on a time clock is truly a feeling of accomplishment.

In summation I think status is equally as important to women as it is to men. Gone are the days when Men were the sole bread winners. In today's society, its almost required to have two incomes to have any type of stable household. Unless you happen to belong to the small segment of our society that's born with a sliver spoon or have worked to achieve a career that affords all necessities and there's still money left over to afford luxuries then more power to you! That isn't meant to sound negatively but the fact is most people won't ever be in the segment of people I just described. So I say work for what you want regardless of your sex and I feel God will bless your efforts if you put Him first in your life!

The above posting comes directly from my heart to yours... hopefully you can relate and feel the connection.... Thanks for reading as always! All comments and feedback is appreciated!

-Love always