Sunday, October 31, 2010
Sermon Notes from New Life Church Service 10/30/10
Monday, October 25, 2010
Status matters most to which sex...Women or Men...
Unfortunately I can only speak from the view point of a woman so I won't even attempt to write this from any other view than what I have experienced myself. I was listening to the radio this afternoon and the topic was: Who obsesses more over status and money Women or Men. So this post is in response to the commentary I listened to on the radio today. I also will give my own twist on the topic being that I have STRONG feelings on this topic being that I've experienced very harsh judgements from both men and women in regards to status. I think the above explanation is enough to give the foundation for what I'm about to share so here it is...
Well as a woman especially a woman of color who has practiced the craft of written and verbal expression via print, radio, web, and television Journalism I feel my insight might be slightly different than others who don't come from my background in journalism. That said, I must say in the dating arena which is what the focus of the radio show was today I think status matters just as much or more in a relationship when it comes to the woman. From my view, I'm often summed up as nothing more than a list of statistics that read: college graduate, skipped being a teen mother statistic, National Honor's Society of Communication Member, and Who's Who among Universities and Colleges award winner to name a few of my accomplishments. But I'm discovering that I'm so much more than just the above description. I am a WOMAN. I am a passionate, caring, motivated, opinionated woman of color who demands to be heard and understood!
I strive to make my communication as direct and colorful as possible. I want people to understand and relate to what I'm expressing so I take great care in the presentation of whatever I am attempting to communicate. I am often frustrated when people don't take time to listen to the complete thought that I'm trying to get across. I hate to be cut off in mid thought! So when I'm asked if I have children or not or what tax bracket I'm in when I'm out and about I quickly respond with well what difference does it make, You don't even know my name and you're asking about my personal matters and finances to decide if I'm worth pursuing! WHAT?! You would think that if he's willing to give me the third degree that he would have his affairs in order! Right... Well most of the time the answer is he doesn't have his life together but he EXPECTS me to be right on track in every area of life.
Its a total double standard in my opinion. For example its accepted in our society that men will go out and "sow their wild oaks" but then women are expected to live to a higher standard. It's the same with status I find. In my case men who see me at first sight usually immediately believe that I'm high maintenance. However I'd say that while I do require a certain level of living in regards to my lifestyle. The lifestyle that I live is largely made possible by my income and not that of my partner. Now that doesn't mean that he doesn't contribute to my lifestyle but that's just it he contributes not provides! I think there's a MAJOR difference. I would say that he enhances my finances by giving me the freedom to spend the money I earn towards monthly bills and whatever else I may feel is necessary for me to be happy.
For example I enjoy going to the spa twice a month when I get my manicure and pedicure. I also get my hair down weekly or bi-weekly depending on how it holds up during the week. Just because I enjoy some of the pleasures of life doesn't make me a woman who is high maintenance. In my view I'm a woman who recognizes and appreciates quality over quantity on any day of the week. For example I told him that if he plans on getting me any jewelry then it should be from Tiffany and Co only! I explained that while other jewelers may have less expensive pricing options however, I told him I don't want anything BUT Tiffany. So when he gave me my birthday gift and it was from Tiffany I was pleasantly rewarded for communicating directly my request rather than getting disappointed when he didn't meet my expectation that I had in my head. I think that the lack of communication is the reason why so many relationships are not successful.
Switching gears...
This is where my background in Journalism and Communication comes in. Now because of my chosen career path I have experienced a level of "status" that comes along with being a TV Personality. That means I've been invited and attended events where celebrities are as common as the oxygen that you're breathing right now. That said, it takes a lot to impress me from strictly a financial perspective and that's because I've been exposed to very affluent people and learned how they live and operate. For example I've noticed that people that have money don't think in terms of money when it comes to their lifestyle. They expect to be treated with the best customer service regardless of if they choose to actually purchase or not. They have an air of confidence that says they expect to be treated with respect!
Then on the other hand, from my observation I've noticed people that have a "hood mentality" have the perception that they deserve nothing but what they get. So if they are treated well they take it and if they aren't treated well they accept that as well. Being that I've been exposed to various social economic living standards I prefer to live according to a certain standard. Now that doesn't mean that I can't be content with less but it means that I'm working hard to make up the difference so that I can live according to what I want. One of my mentors told me that rather than decreasing my lifestyle I should increase my income by limiting my debit by investing...
So that's been my mission to make more money by having multi-streams of residual income. Hence, my Mary Kay Business! I enjoy building and cultivating my clientele and I've reached the point in my business where I've started to see the fruits of my labor meaning I'm getting reorders and referrals so its been an fulfilling to see my hard work start to pay off! There have been times when I got up in the morning to check my email to discover that while I was sleeping customers have made online orders! So to think that its possible to make money without being clocked in on a time clock is truly a feeling of accomplishment.
In summation I think status is equally as important to women as it is to men. Gone are the days when Men were the sole bread winners. In today's society, its almost required to have two incomes to have any type of stable household. Unless you happen to belong to the small segment of our society that's born with a sliver spoon or have worked to achieve a career that affords all necessities and there's still money left over to afford luxuries then more power to you! That isn't meant to sound negatively but the fact is most people won't ever be in the segment of people I just described. So I say work for what you want regardless of your sex and I feel God will bless your efforts if you put Him first in your life!
The above posting comes directly from my heart to yours... hopefully you can relate and feel the connection.... Thanks for reading as always! All comments and feedback is appreciated!
-Love always
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Michiana Youth Federation Sermon Notes
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Pearls and Velvet
The question was asked: What is christian fatigue?
dysfunctional family environment
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Acceptance vs. Approval
*Exploring the dynamics that occur between parents and adult children and the shift from childhood, to teenager, to adult...
I am choosing to write on this topic because its one that near and dear to my heart. There is a vast difference between APPROVAL and ACCEPTANCE. I'm going to be addressing these words within the context of parental relationships. I want to emphasize that my feelings on this topic are in no way a reflection of my relationship with my parents. However, I felt driven to write on this topic so here it goes...
For some reason people I feel are confused by my pleasant, easy going nature. They feel that my character or personality disposition makes me some how an easy target for words of life direction. My frustration is that even though these older adults might feel that they are giving me sound advice they don't give it like advice. They mostly give what I would characterize as criticism but it wouldn't be in the positive characterization. So I'm often baffled at the nerve of people to tell me how they think I should live my life. Now I'm not one to subscribe to the ideology that I know it all. However I am of the opinion that unless I ask for advice then I don't feel its necessary to get advice.
Also, I find myself quite speechless when people want to give me advice on a particular area that I feel they have no expertise in. For example, people LOVE giving me relationship and financial advice. But these same people with all the "advice" to give their life doesn't reflect the "wisdom" that they are in fact trying to impart to me. So yea, I'm often like what do you look like... being over weight giving me advice on health and wellness!
Its especially frustrating when dealing with loved ones on this touchy topic because for some reason family members often feel like they have the right to say whatever to you because they are family. I often find myself biting my tongue to keep from being disrespectful to my elders. I am amazed at how often people with all types of personal life issues are the ones usually to willing to give their opinion on how you should live your life. I mean don't get me wrong I appreciate when I am warned of potential pitfalls but my issue occurs when the topic is still pursued even when I have clearly communicated that I personally don't foresee my "situation" to be a "pit fall". That's when I become frustrated because I'm thinking clearly we aren't going to agree on this particular topic so stop beating me over the head with ideologies that are contrary to what I believe and have found to be true in my life.
There was a time when I earnestly sought the approval of my parents. However, now that idea has totally shifted. I still respect them as my parents but I no longer seek their approval I simply want their acceptance. I can't tell you the last time I truly felt loved and accepted by my family. I often feel that if I live my life in accordance to what they may feel they want me to then I have their approval for a short time. But its short lived!
My problem is that until recently I was truly bothered by the fact that not everyone in my family approved of me and my life decisions. But now I've come to embrace the concept that I can't make everyone happy. Nor do I want to attempt to make everyone happy. I am 27 years old and just now discovering how to become totally comfortable in my own skin and confident in my decision making process. Sure I make mistakes from time to time. But who doesn't! My thing is this just because I choose to live my life in a way that one might not approve of that doesn't mean that my life is in contradiction to what God's plan is for my life. I get so tired of others telling what God has told them in regards to how I should live or operate a particular area of my life. I often think to myself well if that's the case why doesn't God come and tell me about such and such. Why would he send a person who has never been in a nurturing successful relationship to give advice to me on relationships?
I'm also tired of others portraying or projecting themselves to be "oh so holy" in their lifestyle. Like they've been there all their lives when in fact they were a wild youth then teenager then young adult. But then suddenly they have a turn around spiritually then they want to shove down my neck how I should live. I personally think that's CRAZY to put it mildly.
Also when I ask for advice that doesn't mean that I haven't already come up with a solution to the issue. In most cases, that means I want to compare my conclusion to your advice to see how much of a similarity there is.
I feel that I'm learning so much about myself at this time in my life and I'd appreciate the space from everyone to continue on my journey of self discovery!
2010 BSCF Alumni Sabbath Sermon Notes
Sermon Title: "Living in Anticipation"
When you know that something important is about to happen you live your life in a state of preparation of the big event be it a wedding, funeral, trip, or even project deadline.
Heaven is a literal place and we need to think of it as such because then the way we live our daily lives will begin to reflect our belief.
There are a series of questions we as Christians should be asking ourselves as we get closer to the second coming of Christ with each passing day.
The questions are as follows:
- Am I living in anticipation or expectation of Heaven?
- Am I living in anticipation of the second coming of Christ?
- Have I taken time to envision my life in Heaven?
- Who is it that I need to be in my daily life here on earth so that I can receive the gift of salvation?
- Can I start now to live in an existence of true love and acceptance of everyone with whom I come in contact?
- What is it that will make Heaven real to me in a tangible way that will effect the way I live my daily life?
- Now if we look at our lives are we living in a way that reflects our destination being Heaven which should be the ultimate destination for a Christian?
- Have I thought about what it would be like to live with everyone in Heaven forever in a continual state of Joy and happiness?
Have we stopped to actually envision what it will actually be like to live without limitation?
We as Christians should be living in the state of mind of the future in this present day in age.
The reason why its important for us to envision Heaven as a real place is because we need a motivating factor to help put "a fire" under our bottoms.
We as Christians need to find something about Heaven that thrills us to the point that our life will transition from earthly issues and concerns to Heavenly blessings and pleasantries.
It is interesting to realize that even our very best efforts here on earth are so narrow and limited in comparison to the endless abilities we each will have once we get to Heaven.
1 Corinthians 13:12 Brings out the point that now we see things through the mirror of our own individual limited understanding.
Its hard to even understand the concepts of what it will be like to never grow old, never sleep, never have to use the bathroom, never get tired, never run out of time, never experience sadness, pain, sorrow, or death.
Our lives should reflect that fact that:
*God is real
*Jesus died on the cross so that salvation from our sins was possible
*Heaven is a real physical place
An interesting fact: Did you know children are programmed to be negative being that the word they hear the most during their entire childhood is no.
We need to allow God's light to take away the shadows of sin in our lives.
We need to also understand that we here on earth can begin to dwell in heaven by living by the principles of the God we serve.
It should be our goal to practice living in a state of authenticity.
Imagine for a minute if everyone who is close in your life could read your thoughts. Would the things you thought about them be positive or negative?
In Heaven even our thoughts will transform from the negative state they were in prior to translation.
Ephesians 4: 29-32 Speaks about the importance of not speaking unwholesome words. Some bible translations of this text go so far as to challenge us to not allow corrupt communication to come out of our mouths.
The speakers used the analogy of our bodies being a golden bowl to represent the temple of God. Now the question was asked what type of fruit do you want to be in the bowl. Do you want to be a golden bowl that is full of rotten, dirty, bug infested fruit? Or do we want to be a golden bowl that is full of luscious, ripe, juicy, delicious fruit? Well the words we speak are either good or bad fruit in this analogy.
When we put all this into prospective we will begin to appreciate the fact that our lives will alter by default when you begin to remove the negative fruit from our lives.
There are some tips that we can do to start living here on earth in anticipation of living in Heaven.
- Have family worship
- Get connected with God everyday through some type of devotion or bible text
- Work on developing an active thriving prayer life
- Eliminate bad foods from our diet that are hindering our health so that we can have a clear mind to communicate with God
- Develop a functional relationship with God
When I am connected with God great things will happen in my life and in the life of others who come in contact with me.
God's power will flow though our lives in a tangible way if we are connected to Him. So there will be evidence of our spiritual connection to God in how we live.
How many of us have our suitcase ready for when Jesus comes again? Suitcase representing our character because that's the only thing that we will take with us to Heaven our character and personality.
Our salvation is sure we need to live in anticipation of the fulfillment of the greatest gift which is the gift of life and salvation made possible through the death of Jesus on the cross!
If that isn't good news then I don't know what is....God bless each of you who took the time to read this post!